The following message was delivered at Grace Community Church in
Panorama City, California, by John MacArthur Jr. It was transcribed from the
tape, GC 56-15, titled "The Character of a Healthy Church" Part 4, Younger Women
Part 2, Titus 2:3-5. A copy of the tape can be obtained by writing, Word of
Grace, P.O. Box 4000, Panorama City, CA 91412 or by dialing toll free
1-800-55-GRACE.
I have made every effort to ensure that an accurate
transcription of the original tape was made. Please note that at times sentence
structure may appear to vary from accepted English conventions. This is due
primarily to the techniques involved in preaching and the obvious choices I had
to make in placing the correct punctuation in the article.
It is my
intent and prayer that the Holy Spirit will use this transcription to strengthen
and encourage the true Church of Jesus Christ.----Tony Capoccia
Younger Women
Part 2
(Titus 2:3-5)
Copyright 1993
by
John F. MacArthur, Jr.
All rights reserved.
This morning we go again in our study of the Book of
Titus to chapter 2, and we are looking at verses 4 and 5 specifically this
morning. This is Paul's instruction to Titus for the "young women" of the
church. Now remember this whole chapter gives to us teaching on the character of
a healthy church; that is, a church that is going to have an effective witness
to the world, that is going to have an evangelistic impact. In order for a
church to have that kind of impact the people in it must
conduct themselves
in a godly way. You will remember in verse 5 he says this instruction is so
"that the Word of God may not be dishonored;" in verse 8, "So that the opponent
may be put to shame having nothing bad to say about us;" and in verse 10, "so
that we may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in every respect," because (as
verse 11 says) God's grace "has appeared bringing salvation to all men."
If the saving grace of Christ is to reach all men it's going to depend
on the character of the church. If we honor the Word, silence the critics, and
demonstrate that God is a saving God by our transformed lives, then the gospel
will be powerfully effective. How we live in the church is the issue here, and
its evangelistic implications.
Now in giving this instruction he begins
in verse 1 by just saying people need to be taught sound doctrine. Then,
starting in verse 2 and running all the way down to more than half-way through
the chapter he says, having a foundation of sound doctrine "here is how the
church is to live." The older men in verse 2 are given prescriptions for godly
living; the older women in verse 3; and then in verses 4 and 5 the "young
women," and in verse 6 through 8, the "young men." Then in verse 9 he discusses
the virtue of those who are slaves or servants or employees in the world.
So what we learn here then is that evangelistic impact--the
effectiveness of the church, how it reaches the world, is related to how it
lives in very specific terminology. Older men, as verse two says, "are to be
temperate, dignified, sensible, sound in faith, in love, in perseverance. Older
women [likewise] are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips,
not enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good." Then we come to the next
category, the one for today: "young women." Verse 4 and 5, "that they may
encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be
sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that
the Word of God may not be dishonored."
God has a magnificent and
wonderful design for women. It is a design which will fulfill their created
purpose, maximize their uniqueness, make them a blessing to the world, and bring
fulfillment to their own lives and glory to the name of God. That design is
briefly stated there in those two verses. The instruction there is God's design
for women--women in the church, so that the church can have a powerful witness,
and so that God can be glorified and His Word honored.
There are times
and places in human history where this particular section of Scripture would be
commonly believed, even in the culture, where there would not be a reaction to
any of these things that would be the accepted norms for society; but ours is
not such a time, nor is it such a place. In our culture, what is being said in
these verses to young women is the very opposite to what young women are being
taught. Young women today are being taught to:
"Love whoever they want"
"Farm their children out to somebody
else"
"Don't worry about what is sensible"
"Do whatever pleases you"
"Don't worry about being pure"
"Fulfill your physical and lustful
desires"
"Don't work at home--work outside the home"
"Don't worry about
being kind--you do whatever you want"
"Grab your moment in the sun"
"Take care of you, not somebody else"
"By all means--Don't be subject to
your own husband!"
When this comes into the church it, therefore,
dishonors the Word of God. I mean, even an unbeliever can read those verses. The
most unschooled non-believer can read that the Word of God says young women are,
"to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers
at home, kind, and being subject to their own husbands," And if he can read the
Bible and look at the church he can make a very simple conclusion: "You
Christians say you believe the Bible--why don't your women live like this?" You
see, it brings discredit on the Scripture to say we affirm the Scripture but we
live however we like, or worse: we live however the culture (being basically
controlled by Satan, the "Prince of the Power of the Air") dictates us to live.
People in the Christian church who have problems with this text
inevitably will come back to Galatians 3:28 and say, "But in Christ there is
neither male nor female--in Christ we are free!" But Christian women must not
ever think that their equality in spiritual standing before God, and their
equality in salvation and sanctification, and their great freedom in Christ have
somehow obliterated God's created and spiritual beneficial order, because it
hasn't.
Young women are here addressed in the church because it has
always been a tendency for young women to kick over the traces of their
responsibilities, just as it would be for any person. You remember back in
Genesis, chapter 3, when God cursed Eve; one of the parts of that curse was
"That her desire would be towards her husband," and that word "desire" means a
desire to dominate or to rule--that's part of fallenness. And the man would be
overbearing in his leadership; and therefore you have the battle of the sexes
that really can only be resolved in the power of the Holy Spirit in Christian
marriages. So young women need to be reminded because there is something in the
fallen flesh that wants to dominate, and be free, and kick over the fences.
Certainly, there is something in the world that presses
against the flesh
when women are being told today what they are being told by the lying philosophy
of Satan.
Young women have always needed instruction just like young
men, and older women, and older men do. So, here the Word of God is at stake:
the honor of Scripture and the glory of God, and the silencing of the opponents
of the gospel. In other words, this simple set of commands has immense
implications, has far reaching ramifications for the kingdom. If you love
Christ, if you seek to honor God, if you want to lift up and exalt the Word, if
you want to silence the critics--you will be eager to obey these commands. If
you want to do what the society says, if you want to fulfill your own fleshly
desire--you will disobey them. Jesus said it simply and concisely in the summary
statement, "If you love Me, you will keep My commandments," and here are some of
His commandments given to us by the Holy Spirit through the pen of the Apostle
Paul.
So a healthy church with healthy Christians is going to have a
witness in the world because its young women pattern their lives according to
what the Word of God says. So you need to understand the reasons for all of this
and the implications of it: if we continue as a church to fall victim to the
Satanic plotting of the feminist movement--we are allowing Satan to destroy the
priority, and the purity, and the integrity of the church; we are allowing him
to pull down the Word of God from its lofty place; we are allowing him to give
opponents plenty of reasons to criticize us; and we are allowing him to muddy
the waters in terms of God as a saving, transforming, God.
It is
imperative, then, for the sake of the kingdom and the advancement of the kingdom
and evangelization--we must respond. As I said, this is just the most dominant
issue in our culture. In other cultures, reading this might be sufficient
because women have built in the culture some sense about this. It also needs to
be said that we have a new generation of young women being raised, who from the
very beginning have been taught the opposite of this, they have not been
mentored by godly parents; they are now a second generation of people influenced
by the feminist movement and, thus, this runs against the grain of everything
they have been taught: of everything they have been exposed to in the media. And
then [this] bears great emphasis. That is why we did what we did last week in
laying some historical foundation to the text for this morning.
Now,
before we look at verse four, let's go to verse three for a moment because it is
connected. One of the duties of the older women, into which we looked a few
weeks back--one of the duties comes at the end of the list in verse three,
"Teaching what is good." Older women have as their responsibility: "teaching of
what is good." Literally, the Greek word here could be translated "teachers of
what is good," "kalodidaskalos" (Greek), "teachers of good." "Good" being a word
that means "noble, excellent, lofty," and the idea in the word is not some kind
of formal thing; it's not conducting seminars, writing a book, making tapes,
[or] holding formal classes--it is the idea of the very life they live becoming
a model of a pattern of goodness.
Older women, when their children are
grown and gone, and they reach the senior years, are not supposed to just wander
away from the church and travel around as if they had no responsibility. In
their older years they are responsible to become teachers of the next
generation. They do that by mentoring, by discipling, by modeling, by setting
the example of godly living with regard to marriage and the family and the home.
Now they are then to be teachers of good, and the primary ones they
teach are the young women; and that's the transition into verse four, "They are
to be teachers of what is good in order that they may encourage the young
women." The primary responsibility of older women is younger women. Their
children are raised, the children are gone. Hopefully, they have raised up a
godly generation of their own; now within the framework of the church, the older
women are to give themselves in a very informal, personal way to the modeling of
godliness (that only a woman can do) to pass on to the next generation. They are
to demonstrate virtue as wives, and virtue as mothers, virtue as humble, loving,
patient, kind, generous servants to the next generation. "That"--verse four
begins with the word "that:" it's a purpose clause in order that with the
purpose or the result that young women will be encouraged.
Now the word
"encouraged" is probably not translated the best way. It is a very interesting
word; the root of it "sophra" (Greek) is used all over the Pastoral Epistles. In
fact, hardly anywhere else--I think I may have found one or two uses of the root
somewhere other than the Pastorals--but it appears in the Pastorals in many
places and it has various different endings which change the form of the word,
and we'll see it several times even in our discussion this morning. But the form
of it that appears uniquely here "sophronizo" (Greek), which is a verb ending,
means "to train." It means "to train." To say it another way, "to teach someone
self-control." Some lexicons translate it "to make someone sober-minded, to make
someone balanced, to make someone steady, to provide someone guidance;" but the
best translation is "to train someone in self-control."
There are other
forms of this word in chapter 1, verse 8, chapter 2, verse 2, and we'll see even
in chapter 2, verse 5, and those cases it is translated "sensible;" but it is a
little bit of a different word, the root
of it is the same but the form of
it is different. One form of it is translated "discipline." In Titus 2:12 it's
translated "sensibly;" in 1 Timothy 3:2 "prudent;" and we'll see later in 1
Timothy 2 it's translated "discreet." It has the idea of being "discreet" or
"chaste." But the best way to understand this term is the idea of training in
the art of self-control, learning self-restraint; in fact, a form of it is
translated "self-restraint" in 1 Timothy 2:15.
So, the older women,
then, are to teach the young women the self-discipline that trains them to be
able to do their duty which is, "to love their husbands, love their children,
etc." Older women are engaged, then, in a training process to raise a generation
of sensible, disciplined, prudent, wise, discreet, restrained women who are
committed to doing God's will. This is a tremendous challenge. It's not easily
done. A training process implies relationship, ongoing relationship and
responsibility, confrontation and affirmation. You older women who no longer
have the responsibility of your own children now have the responsibility of
training the next generation of women.
Now, let's talk about the idea of
the young women. How young is young? Now what I am going to say is going to make
some of you very happy. To what age does "young women" refer? Well, in a general
sense we would say it refers to women who are able to bear children or are still
rearing children. We would say, generally speaking, that it is sort of a
"pre-menopause" category of young women: those who are still able to have
children. A good way to understand this is to go back to 1 Timothy 5. I would
add even to that, women who are able to have children or are still rearing their
children. If you think about it: women can bear children well into their forties
and, consequently for the next, say 10 to 15 years, even after that, they are
going to be raising children; so that would push the sort of child-bearing,
child-rearing responsibility up to, maybe 60. If you are still having children
at 46, 47--remember in ancient times without the means to prevent pregnancy as
we have them today, and with a devotion to bearing children that was very
different than a society like ours that has been clobbered with the idea of
reducing the population--people had children and they continued to have children
and the home was the center of life. They bore children well into their forties
normally, and so as approaching 60 they would still be raising their own
children.
Now, that is consistent with what we see in 1 Timothy. In 1
Timothy 5:9, it says, "Let a widow be put on the list;" and we will stop there
for a moment. Now, the early church had a number of spiritual responsibilities
that were officially designated. There were "Elders," also know as pastors and
overseers (we know about them). There were "Deacons," both male and female, who
served in the church, but in addition to that, apparently, there was some
official group of godly widows who served with the church. The church may well
have helped to assist them in their needs, if indeed, their husband didn't leave
them support, or if their families couldn't support them, or if other women
couldn't support them--all of those were to take place according to 1 Timothy 5.
In other words, if a woman was a widow, the other men in her family, or
extended family: sons, uncles, brothers, cousins, or whatever, were to support
her. If she didn't have men who could, then other women were to support her;
that's all outlined in this chapter, and if the other men and women weren't
available to do that, then the church would care for her. So, some of these
widows would literally be physically cared for by the church. But apart from
that there was a list of widows, whether cared for by the church or not, who
were official servants of the church, and they would serve the church.
They had a number of tasks. If you go back into the history of the
church they had fairly defined responsibility. They would visit the church's
younger women (that was a priority obviously drawn from Titus 2) they would
visit these younger women to teach them, to instruct them, to help them in daily
tasks, to show them things about being wise, and about being mothers, and about
being homemakers. They had an ongoing responsibility to be available to those
women in the church who needed their help.
They were also used to
provide teaching and counseling when women had needs that were specific and
problematic. They also visited the sick and the afflicted and those in prison.
They provided hospitality to travelers, such as itinerant preachers,
evangelists, and missionaries, and traveling Christians who may be coming into
town because they were being persecuted in another place. They had
responsibility also to help with their own grandchildren and their extended
family: whatever needs were there.
One of the ministries that they had
that was quite unique was [that] they would go through the city streets and the
market place, on a daily basis, to pick up the babies that had been left there.
Ancient times also experienced a "Woman's Liberation Movement," especially in
the time of Paul. Women didn't have the means of abortion that people have
today, because they didn't have the medical advancement, so they gave birth to
their baby and just left it in the marketplace. Male children would be picked up
and trained to be gladiators; female children would be picked up and trained to
be prostitutes. In order to save these little lives, Christian widows, those who
were on the church list, would comb the marketplace and the public places of the
city daily, and they would scoop up the little lives and put them in Christian
families so that they could be raised to be Christian young people. This was one
of their responsibilities with abandoned babies.
So, the church had
these godly women on a list and they represented the church; they were
officially the church representatives. Now, you will notice that in order for a
woman to be on the list she had to be sixty, "Put her on the list only if she is
over sixty years of age." That seems to be the "breakpoint." As I said, that
would be the normal point where your children are gone. Now many would be
earlier than that in life and maybe their children were gone, but they might of
not have gone through the menopause period; they might of have still a physical
desire for a man, and consequently, it would be normal for them to remarry
again, as the text will point out. But once they passed the point of sixty their
childbearing years are over, the years of their sexual desire are over, and the
responsibility of rearing children is over; they can then make the commitment to
spend their life, the rest of the life that God gives them in the service of the
church. The Roman empire, by the way, indicated sixty as the recognized age for
someone to be officially be called "old."
These women were to be models,
then, of virtue. Their qualifications to be put on the list are quite
interesting. Look at it in verse 9:
1. They had to be at least 60 years
or thereabouts.
2. Had to have a reputation of being the "wife of one
man." That doesn't mean that they only had one husband; it means a "one-man
woman" in the Greek. I can only wish that they had translated that right,
because every time it appears it's misleading. It is in the Greek a "one-man
woman;" that's the idea. They were a "one-man woman;" that is to say, they were
totally devoted to their husband. They may have been married a couple of times,
perhaps widowed earlier in life and would be instructed to marry again. It may
have been that they had an unbeliever depart and left them and they then were
free to remarry.
The issue is not how many times they were married; the
issue is were they known as a wife devoted to the man who was her husband. They
were virtuous in that sense that they were loyal, faithful wives. That would be
the moral qualification. Again, I note that if a woman had lost her husband
earlier in life, he had died, she is free to marry; in fact, she is instructed
to marry right here. It tells us in the remaining part of the text that the
(verse 14) "younger widows should get married again." 1 Corinthians 7:39-40 says
widows are to marry only in the Lord, so they should find a Christian husband
and be married again because they need their physical desire fulfilled; they may
have time to bear more children; they need a father to care for the children
they have--obvious reasons.
But in this situation, you have a woman who
is sixty years of age, her husband is gone, she has no compulsion for the
physical aspect, she is willing to devote the rest of her life to Christ, she
has no children in
the home to raise, and she goes on the list of the church
if she has been a moral woman faithful to her husband.
3. Verse 10, if
she had a reputation for good works; that is to say, she has done those kind of
things that have demonstrated her excellent character. She is a noble woman; she
has an unrelenting pursuit of doing good for others. She is unselfish. She is
devoted to others, like the woman of Proverbs 31, or like Dorcas who was always
making garments for the poor.
4. If she has shown hospitality to
strangers; if she has washed saint's feet; if she has assisted those in
distress; if she has devoted herself to every good work.
5. Then the one
I skipped, which is really the heart of it: if she has brought up children.
This particular duty was for someone who had a godly reputation, who had
cared for strangers, who had humbled herself to wash the dirty feet of those who
walked in the dust or the mud (it was either one). She was known because she had
devoted her whole life to every good work, utterly selfless; but she had brought
up children, and the implication is that they are godly children. She had lived
in (as 1 Timothy 2:15 says) faith, love, and sanctity with self-restraint, and
so she had preserved herself from the stigma that woman bears after having led
the race into sin, by raising up a godly generation of children.
"Look
in the congregation," says Paul, "you find those kind of women; you put them on
an official list and you let them take care of the younger women and you let
them take care of the sick and the afflicted; and you let them take care of the
abandoned babies, and serve in anyway they can, hospitality towards those who
need it, care for those who need it; assisting all who are in distress." This is
a woman who has relieved the afflicted: that's what assisting those in distress
means. This is a woman who knows how to care for others; her time has been
spent, her life has been spent on her children, on her husband, and on the needs
of others. She is a woman known as one who does good work.
Now on the
other hand, follow this text a little bit, verse 11, "Don't put younger widows
on the list." Why? "They don't want to be on it! Some will lose their husband
and they will be so distressed and so bereft, and mourning so deeply, and
they'll say there will never be a man like him; I never want to marry another, I
don't want another man, he's the only man that I ever want; and in the emotion
of that moment, and the devotion to that love that was there with that man, they
will devote themselves to Christ, and say, 'I want to be on the list, I'll give
the rest of my life to Christ, I don't ever want to marry again!" "But," verse
11 says, "when they feel sensual desires, when the normal sex drive rises--in
disregard of Christ, they want to get married! And they will have made this
public promise."
Apparently, there was this public forum in which this
actually took place, and there will then occur condemnation, because either they
will reluctantly keep their vow or they will break their vow; in either place,
they will be condemned because they set aside their previous pledge. Don't let
the younger women do this; they have a normal desire which results in the
bearing and rearing of children and the need for a husband and all of that. At
the same time, he says in verse 13, "younger women who might be a bit immature
will go around learning to be idle, going from house to house (and not merely
idle, but they will gossip and be busybodies) and talk about things not proper
to mention." They will just go around talking, and instead of going and helping,
teaching, instructing, and counseling, they will collect information here and
move it over here. Collect more information here and move it over here, and
pretty soon the thing will be all over the place.
So don't let younger
women do that. The younger women you must instruct (verse 14) to get married,
bear children, keep house, give the enemy no occasion for reproach, for some
have already turned aside to follow Satan. That's sad. If they don't get married
their physical desire will lead them into sin. They need to get married, bear
children and keep house. That's their domain, that's their area, that's their
responsibility, that's their calling, that's their place, and that allows the
enemy no occasion to bring reproach on those women who name the Name of Christ
and go out and scandalize the Name of Christ by their sin; so, don't put the
younger women on the list.
So, what we learned from that passage is that
there are younger women and older women, and the older women are kind of in the
60 and up category, and the younger women are below that, at least at the point
where they are still bearing children, capable of bearing children, or rearing
children. And if they are younger then that, they ought to get married. The
desire, the physical desire is still there and perhaps there are even children
still in the home from the husband who has died, and it is be better for them to
do what God has called them to do, and that is, to care for those children and
keep house, and don't give the enemy any opportunity to bring reproach on
Christ.
Now, the older women are the sixtish and up, and we now know who
the younger women are, and the duties and responsibilities of the older women,
noted there in verse 10, really tell us what God expects a woman to do. She is
to be devoted to her own husband; she is to bring up children; she is to show
hospitality to strangers; she is to be a humble servant washing the saint's
feet, even as Jesus and the disciples did in John 13; she is to assist the
people under pressure. That means if somebody just lost a loved one, go make the
meals, wash the clothes, care for the children. That's the kind of person she is
to be, she is to be there assisting people under pressure and to be known as one
who devotes herself to every good work on behalf of others and not herself.
That's what she was when she was young and that's what qualifies her to be on
the list of widows when she grows old. Now, let's go back to Titus.
Here, with that as a background, in Titus, chapter 2, we hear some very
familiar words. The young women were encouraged you remember in 1 Timothy 5, to
"marry and bear children and all," and here's the same thing, "Encourage young
women to love their husbands, love their children, be sensible, pure, workers at
home, kind, being subject to their own husbands." Again, I remind you that there
is always a move against this and it rises out of the fallen flesh of a woman
who wants to lord it over her husband, who wants to express herself, who wants
to run independent of the plan and purpose of God. That's what the sinful flesh
does and it is exacerbated by Satan, as he develops the culture to call its
siren call to the woman outside the home.
Now, let's look at these
ingredients very briefly because most of our time is gone [and] I haven't even
started the message; and if I spend three weeks on the women I will never hear
the end of it, because they will think that they got more than their share.
Verse 4, "Encourage these young women; that is, train them in the matter
of self-control, to love their husbands." That is one word "philanthros"
(Greek): "husbandlovers;" that's what it means in 1 Timothy 5, as we read, to be
a "one-man woman," totally devoted to your husband. Ephesians 5:25 says,
"Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church." That's the
key: you love your wife like Christ loved the church. How did He love the
church? He loved the church when the church was sinful; He loves us when we
aren't worthy of His love; He loves us sacrificially; He loves us
protectionally. That's how husbands are to love their wives and that's how wives
are to love their husbands. You are to be a "husbandlover." You are to love your
husband. You say, "You don't know my husband. I don't love my husband. My
husband is not lovable. He has turned me off. I don't love him any more. I don't
care for him any more!"
My response to you is, "That is disobedience.
That is disobedience to the clear Word of God." You are to love your husband.
Listen, that doesn't mean that you are going to feel the rockets and hear the
bells and whistles. I read "Newsweek" magazine two weeks ago, and in their
edition they said that goes in about two years because of chemical
changes--isn't that amazing? Marriage isn't all rocket and bells and
whistles--it's a contented commitment with an occasional rocket and maybe a bell
and a whistle now and then! It goes beyond that, it goes beyond that to a
devotedness, to a level of friendship that runs deep and satisfying.
I
will tell you how it works: if you don't love your husband, then you need train
yourself to love your husband. The way you train yourself to love your husband
is to continue to serve and serve and to do every good thing, and every kind
thing, and every gracious thing, and every magnanimous thing, and you make such
a massive investment in him, you will say, "I've got too much in this guy not to
love him!" It is a sin to disobey this command. It is a sacrificial love. It is
not necessary the love of emotion--it's the love of will and deep commitment.
That's where healthy relationships begin. It's the kind of love Phillippians 2
talks about, when it says, "If there is any love then do this: let no man look
on the things of his own life, but the things of others. Let each esteem others
better than himself." It's that sacrificial humble, condescending, self-effacing
love.
Secondly he says, "Teach these young women to love their
children." That's one word "philateknos" (Greek) to be "children lovers." Women,
this is your highest calling: to raise godly children (1 Timothy 2:15); we've
been mentioning it all along. You will reverse the stigma of the curse by which
women are stigmatized, because a woman led the race into sin. You will be
preserved from that stigma when you rear a godly generation--that's your highest
calling. Your greatest contribution comes in motherhood--that's generally true.
Now, let me hasten to say, there are some women that God wants to be single, and
they are the exception. He doesn't want them to be married. They have what the
New Testament calls a gift of singleness. 1 Corinthians 7 says, "Women who are
single should remain single if they can do that; so should men, because they can
devote their whole life to Christ and not be encumbered by having to care for a
life partner and a family, and children, and all of that."
I understand
that, I understand what immense freedom a man could have if he wasn't married
and didn't have children. Now, God hasn't made me that way (obviously) but some
are. Some women are designed by God to be single for the kingdom's sake. And
there are some women who are barren for the kingdom's sake--for God's divine
purposes. There are some men who cannot produce children; therefore their wives
will never bear children. God knows that, and in His purpose and His providence
that is a glorious and a complete and total fulfillment for that individual
woman. But those are the unique exceptions that God designs.
The general
rule is that women bear children and love the children they bear. Certainly, in
ancient times this would even go for those women who, though not bearing
children, would have adopted some of those children that the widows had scooped
out of the market place and would, therefore, have the same responsibility for
loving children who had been adopted. Obviously, God doesn't want all women to
be mothers or they would be. God has designed some women to have the uniqueness
of singleness and others not to have children for His own purpose. We can thank
God for what single women mean to the kingdom, and we can thank God (and I do
daily) for what women who have no children mean to the kingdom, because God has
given them freedom to serve in unique ways. But generally speaking, women
are mothers and they are to bear children, and in bearing children they have
then the responsibility to love those children; and that means to sacrifice
their life on the children's behalf. Again, the love is not an emotion, it's not
standing in the corner gloating, when your little child is all dressed up, at
how handsome or how beautiful she is. It is the responsibility of pouring your
life sacrificially into that little life so that that child grows up to love
Christ.
"Women are to be taught (according to verse 5) to be sensible."
There is that "sophron" (Greek) root again, to have sound judgment, common
sense, right thinking, right priorities--very basic. The older women come along
and they teach the young women the common sense stuff of life. Just the normal
processes of knowing your priorities, thinking right, making sound judgment,
applying wisdom. You know, so many young women to day don't understand this.
Patricia and I have talked about this through the years and we can't imagine
ever going to a marriage seminar. We can't imagine ever going to some kind of a
child raising seminar. And people say, "Why can't you imagine that?" The reason
is simply this: we were both raised in families where the Biblical pattern was
modeled.
I will tell you something that will shock you: I never in my
lifetime have seen my father and my mother argue! It's hard to pick a fight with
me. I have never seen my parents argue. I have seen a model of commitment to one
another. I watched my parents raise children; my wife watched her parents raise
children. Nobody needs to give me a book on how to do this. There is something
built into the fabric of a home that becomes reproductive in the next
generation, and when that gets severed you have a major problem of trying to
undo the bad modeling and restructure the whole thing. That is why the Old
Testament says, "Where you have wickedness in the family, it takes three or four
generations to turn it around." It is not easy and it's going to be a long time
before it gets turned around in our own culture.
But where we are living
today in this society it is desperately needed that some women come along and
teach the young generation how to think right--what we think is common sense
parenting. That's why the whole parenting process is taught with such zeal in
our church, because we have to fill in the gap here. With a second generation of
women exposed to a feminist agenda and coming out of broken homes, devastated
marriages--some of them divorced and some of them stayed together, but equally
devastating.
Then he says, "Teach the young women to be pure," "hagnos"
in Greek: "chaste, morally pure, virtuous, sexually faithful to their husbands."
Teach them that they are devoted to one man and that's it--morally pure. 1 Peter
3:3 says that, "Women are not to adorn themselves merely on the external," (It's
fine to do a little work out there--we all appreciate it), but mostly he says,
"Don't be worrying about braiding your hair and wearing gold jewelry and putting
on dresses, but you worry about the hidden person of the heart, with the
imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit precious in the sight of God,
for in this way in former times, the holy women also used to adorn themselves."
So if you want to be a holy woman, you work on the inside and that's what he is
saying: teach women to be adorning their heart; teach women to be virtuous and
godly on the inside.
Back in 1 Timothy 2, verses 9 and 10, the same
thing is said: women are not to adorn themselves in any way that would call
attention to themselves, but they are to put on "proper clothing, modestly and
discreetly, not with braided hair, golden pearls or costly garments; but rather
by means of good works, as befits women making a claim to godliness." So if you
are going to claim godliness, and virtue, and holiness, and purity--it ought to
show up on the outside. Those two words in 1 Timothy 2, "modestly" and
"discreetly," are very interesting. "Modestly" means with a sense of shame; with
a healthy blush. Not ashamed that you are a woman, but ashamed that you might
cause someone to be distracted from worshiping God, or ashamed that you might
cause someone to look at you in lust. You want to have that kind of sense of
shame: the thought of inciting lust or distracting someone from worshiping God,
and the idea of "discreetly" is the same root again "sophra" (Greek), and again
it means "controlling all your passions." Women who make a claim to godliness
have their passions under control; they wouldn't do anything to excite lusts;
they wouldn't do anything to draw attention to themselves when God's people come
together for worship. Holy women have always conducted themselves that way--so
Paul says, "You teach the young women to be pure like that."
Then he
says, "workers at home," and here is the one that gets all the heat nowadays
because women don't want to work at home. Frankly, they are not at all
interested at working at home if they can help it. Forty-five percent of the
American workforce is women. MegaTrends 2000 says, "In the past 20 years U.S.
women have taken two-thirds of the millions of new jobs--and that will
continue." By the way, that directly contributes to continued male unemployment
in the inner-city, according to a Harvard University report done by a man named
Harris, because people will hire a woman before they will hire a black male,
sometimes even a Hispanic male; and so, two out of three new jobs are taken by
women, because they would rather deal with women than men, and that contributes
to the rise of unemployment of the men.
"Fifty-six percent" says,
MegaTrends, "of mothers with children under six work outside the home.
Seventy-three percent of mothers with children 6 to 17 work outside the home. By
the year 2000 (that's in six years or so--seven years) 90% of women between 16
and 65 will be at work outside the home." Nobody will be home! Nobody! Women
don't want to be workers at home. Why? Because Satan sells the system on that
because it's anti-God, anti-Christ, anti-Bible, and it devastates the testimony
of the church. The word "workers at home" is one word in the Greek, "oikourgos,"
from two root words, "ergon," which means work and "oikos," which means "house."
It's simply "the sphere of a woman's life is her home." That's her domain.
It doesn't mean that she has to be there 24 hours a day and never leave.
I am not saying that, because you don't want to lock her up with soap operas
either. But what it does mean is that is the sphere of her life; that is her
domain. It is not that she is simply to be home, but that the home is her
sphere. The woman in Proverbs 31 left home when she needed to buy a field. She
left home to prepare that field. She left home ("went afar") to find things that
would help the family. The woman did what she needed to do, but the focus of
everything was the home, and that's where she poured her life. She got up early
and she went to bed late for the sake of the home.
She is to be a
"homekeeper." That's the sphere of her responsibility; that's her place of
employment; that's where she should pour her life. For a mother to get a job
outside the home and send the children to some kind of day care place is
to shirk her God-given responsibility. It also is a failure to understand that
her husband is to be the provider, as Ephesians 5 makes it very clear. Even if
you went to work outside the home to pay for your children to go to a Christian
school, you made a big mistake. It is better that you should stay in the home
and raise your own children to be godly then to pass it on to somebody else.
Now, we know today that there are lot of wonderful things that we have
in the home that ancient people didn't have. I mean, you are not in there with
some kind of stone pot beating out the grain to make flour. You are not down at
the creek slapping your clothes on a rock--we know that. You are not spinning
thread so that you can sew fabric and make fabric so that you can sew garments.
So we know that you have more time. You need to be very careful how you use that
time discreetly. You do have more time and there may be things outside the home
you can do that will assist the home, that will assist others; and that may even
be enterprising like the Proverbs 31 woman, and bring in a little bit of income.
But any of those kinds of things that you do--the home remains the constant and
ongoing priority. Everything focuses on that.
When your children are
grown and gone, or if God doesn't give you any children, you have a certain
freedom, but even then in what you chose to do outside the home you don't lose
the responsibility for the home. You may be able to care for your home and
because you have no children still do some things outside. Your home may still
be a haven for your husband. It may be a place where you can show hospitality.
You may have opportunity to wash the saints feet and do every good work, and
still do something outside the home--something noble. I always think it is
wonderful when women work
in Christian ministry when they don't have
children at home, or when they teach little ones in school, or when they are
involved in a Christian missionary enterprise, or when they are involved in a
ministry to people in jail, or when they work in a hospital or with doctors, and
those who help people.
But you need to be careful even in doing
that, that you don't get yourself into a position where you are tempted, because
we all know and the statistics are very clear on this, "Women who work outside
the home have an exponential number of extramarital affairs when compared with
women who are in the home," because of exposure, temptation. Plus, they find
themselves not being subject to their own husbands, but subject to somebody
else's husbands. You must make wise choices if you are going to take the freedom
that you have in terms of time because your children are grown; because you can
care for that home, because of conveniences, and chose where it is you are going
to use your gifts and talents and abilities (and women have them to teach and
lead, and administrate and coordinate, and serve and help, and give and all of
that, just like all of the gifts that are mentioned in the New Testament.); you
must chose wisely so you don't compromise yourself in any way, but your place is
the home.
It is also tragic to realize that many women want nothing more
than that. They have an unfaithful husband that leaves them--they're stuck,
aren't they, with children, no source of income, and forced, in many cases, to
work outside the home to support the family. That's not right; 1 Timothy 5 makes
it very clear:
1. Other men in the extended family should care for that
woman so she doesn't have to do that. They have already lost a father--now are
you going to make them lose a mother--those little ones? If there are no other
men, then it says in 1 Timothy 5, "some other women ought to come to her aid,
and if there are no women to do that then the church ought to take care of her,"
but churches aren't even willing to do that. We have been involved in doing that
for years at Grace Church: where we have widows or where we have single women
whose husbands have been divorced, or in some cases where we have women with
little children whose husbands are serving long prison sentences (even life
imprisonment)--they lost a father--should they lose a mother? If you have some
woman like that in your family--you need to support that woman. If there is no
one there; the church can come along side, and we do much counseling in that
area.
"A woman's place is in the home" only says half of it--"A woman's
place is in the home" to me, doesn't sound right. A woman's responsibility is in
the home. To say, "her place is in the home" makes you think that she should
just sit there because that's where she belongs. No, that's where her duty and
responsibility is; that's where her opportunity is to have the greatest impact
on the world. A woman doesn't impact the world by getting a briefcase and going
downtown. She impacts the world by raising a godly generation of men and women.
Obviously, this is very simple, direct teaching and we know how to
respond to it; at the same time there are questions and I know that they can
come up in your heart. You say, "What if I have the opportunity to be gone two
hours in the morning, or three hours, or what if I can go to the Christian
school and help there for a few hours?" The answer to all of that is, "If it
does not impact your home, if it enhances and enriches the life in the home, if
it accomplishes all the spiritual goals--then that's between you and the Lord,
and your husband, and your family to work those things out. You understand the
plan and the pattern that God has laid out; the specifics of how it fleshes out
in your home are for you and the Lord, and your family to work out. What grieves
me is this massive onslaught that says that, "We've got to stamp out this whole
idea of women staying at home. If you don't think that's it then listen to the
agenda Vivian Gornik (sp.), feminist author, University of Illinois,
Being a housewife is an illegitimate profession [that's the whole
thrust!]. The choice to serve and be protected and plan towards being a
family-maker is a choice that shouldn't be. [And then she says] The heart of
radical feminism is to change that.
Why do they care? You tell me why
does some feminist woman care whether you are a homemaker? Why does she care?
I'll tell you why, because her agenda isn't her agenda! It is the agenda of the
enemy. It's an anti-God agenda intended to destroy the credibility of the
church, because if you can get women who claim to be Christians to abandon the
home, then you can pick up a Bible and stick it in their face and say, "You say
you believe this--I don't think so. Therefore, it must not be believable because
you know what it says, and you're not interested in believing it and you claim
to be a Christian."
They don't know what they are doing, but they don't
care really whether you work--Satan cares to discredit the Bible--that's the
issue. That's the level of the attack. See it for what it is and don't become
victimized. The home is where a woman provides the expression of love for her
husband and her children. The home is where she leads and guides and teaches and
raises the godly generation. The home is where she is protected and secured from
other men and potentially wicked relationships and abuses. The home is where she
lodges strangers, washes saint's feet, shows hospitality, and devotes herself to
every good work. That's her sphere. Whatever of that home, and whatever of the
goodness of her life she can take outside, and not sacrifice the home, is
between her and the Lord and her husband.
Proverbs 7:11 gives a
definition of a prostitute, this is what it says, "She is boisterous and
rebellious; her feet do not remain at home." She is not content to be at home;
she is not content with that domain, with that man; she wants to explore other
options.
People today say, "Oh, a woman must work--she has to work to
fulfill herself!" That is ridiculous; that is not true. Her place that God has
designed her to express herself most magnanimously is in the home for her family
and friends and those in need. In spite of all the clear teaching, Satan has
allowed the church to get sucked into the Lesbian/Feminist agenda. This is of
great consequence to the church for a couple of statistical reasons: 60% of the
church population is women, and in Bible-believing churches only 37% are men. So
this great massive force of people who name the name of Christ are either living
in affirmation of Scripture or in denial of it. Very important in terms of
Christian testimony.
Then it says, (and this is wonderful) in verse
five, "She should be kind." What needs to be said about that? "Gentle,
tender-hearted, merciful, thoughtful." And then lastly, "Being subject to their
own husbands," not somebody's else's husband, but their own. That's an echo of
Ephesians 5:22, "subject to their own husbands."
A woman doesn't know
how to bow her knee to God until she learns how to bow her knee to her husband.
That doesn't mean a servile way; it simply means that she submits as God has
designed the order: God is the head of Christ, Christ is the head of the man (1
Corinthians 11 says), and the man is the head of the woman. "Subject to her own
husband." I worry about women who get out and get under powerful male dominated
environments. I worry about that because a woman responds, and a woman can be
easily abused. I understand why all this hue and cry of sexual harassment is
going on, though it is way beyond any kind of rational approach, though it is
way out of whack, though it is only another way for the feminists to achieve
their agenda--it is nonetheless true that women in a male dominated place are
going to get abused--there is no question about it. They are going to get
exposed, at best, to innuendoes; at worst, to sexual involvement.
A
woman needs the protection that the saving sense of protection that a husband
and a home provides. And all of that so that the Word of God may not be
dishonored. It isn't so much for you--it's for God's Word so that it will not be
"blasphemeo" (Greek), "blasphemed." The honor of Scripture is at stake. As I
said at the beginning, and unbeliever can read this text and know whether we are
obeying it. What do you think the unbeliever thinks of current Christianity if
he knows anything about the Bible? He would have to say, "Well, Christians
certainly aren't serious about the Bible." Truly amazing!
Charles Haddon
Spurgeon made this tribute to his wife,
She delights in her husband, in
his person, his character, his affection. To her he is not only the chief and
foremost of mankind, but in her eyes he is all and all. Her heart's love belongs
to him and to him only. He is her little world, her paradise, her choice
treasure. She is glad to sink her individuality in him. She seeks no renown for
herself. His honor is reflected upon her and she rejoices in it. She will defend
his name with her dying breath. Safe enough is he where she can speak for him.
His smiling gratitude is all the reward she seeks.
Even in her dress she
thinks of him and considers nothing beautiful which is distasteful to him. He
has many objects in life, some of which she does not quite understand, but she
believes them all, and anything she can do to promote them she delights to
perform. Such a wife as a true spouse realizes the model marriage relation and
sets forth what our oneness with the Lord ought to be.
Boy, what a joy
to be married to somebody like that. Wonder why he was the man of God that he
was? He had some tremendous support. So it is that God has said, "You want your
church powerful in the world--this is how you are to live."
Father, we
come to You now at the close of this service very much aware of the fact that
these things we have taught are clearly from you and clearly against everything
that this culture stands for. First of all, Lord, we know turning this thing
around is a major enterprise that only You can do, but Lord, we can deal with
our own lives, so I pray for the dear families of this church, the precious
women of this church, old and young, the fathers and husbands. I pray, Oh God,
that these things will be lived out in the homes and the families of our church;
that it might ignite a movement across this country that can bring back honor to
Your Word.
How can so many people say they are Christians, and believe
the Bible, and live in total disregard of what it says, and thus shame the very
testimony of the One they proclaim. Lord, make us faithful in the disciplines of
life to do what honors You. We pray in Christ's name. Amen.
As I said in
conclusion, I know there are a myriad of things that may flood your mind,
exceptions here, there, and everywhere; and what about a woman who is single
working in the world; what about a woman who has no children working. Again, I
just remind you, those things you need to pray about and decide in your own
family, and then follow the leading of the Lord. The first time that there is
indication that any environment like that is compromising your commitment to
Christ; compromising your commitment to your husband; compromising your
commitment to your home--you need to change that. I can only pray that every
gift, and every talent, and every opportunity that you have as a woman will be
maximized with the home as the center priority and then in whatever extending
circumference that God would allow, but always for His glory.
I want
also to say just before we have the final prayer, that I was reading some
letters that I received from the "working disciples" last night, and they were
just letters of kindness just written to me. As I was reading them through, I
was really moved in my heart because these thoughts were in my mind, to thank
the Lord for my own wife who has been to me such a tremendous strength. Even as
I was reading that statement by Spurgeon, realizing that all those things that
he said she was to him, my own wife has been to me, and what a component that is
in helping me to fulfill God's calling in my life, even though I have not been
deserving of all that she has done for me. I see that where this is lived out in
marriages, God's kingdom advances with great strength. This can happen even in
your life though you are not in ministry--the pattern should be the same.
Added to Bible Bulletin Board's "MacArthur's Collection" by:
Tony Capoccia
Bible Bulletin Board
Box
119
Columbus, New Jersey, USA, 08022
Websites: http://www.biblebb.com/ and http://www.gospelgems.com/
Email: tony@biblebb.com
Online since
1986